BRILLIANT SIGNS

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels!"

On a Septic Tank truck in Oregon: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels!"

On another Septic Tank truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business!"

At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in!"

On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed!"

On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber!"

On a Church's Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak!"

At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout!"

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows!"

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts!"

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action!"

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push!"

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place!"

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff!"

On a Fence: "Mormons & Jehovah's Witnesses Welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment!"

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming!"

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be!"

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up!"

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait!"

At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills!"

At a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak!"