These laws hold true always and every time ....
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee
Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire
Law of Variation
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach
Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last
Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers
Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug
Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about
Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly
Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet
Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it
Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick
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